Where do you fall on the Book Banning Issue?

If you are uncertain where you stand on the book banning issue, the following tongue-in-cheek survey may help you figure out just where your priorities are. Read the following questions carefully and circle the answer that best reflects your views.

1. The Republican Leadership Council (RLC) claims that no one uses the libraries. They hold their monthly meetings in, of all places, the Montgomery County Library. They also hold all special meetings to discuss how to attack the libraries in the library. This to me seems:

A) Rather hypocritical.
B) A good use of taxpayer dollars.
C) I don't know, I have to go ask Jim Jenkins.

2. RLC propaganda material on the RLC website rlctx.org, states that the over-spending Montgomery County Hospital District paid $5,000,000 for a building which is on the tax rolls at $2,200,000. If you pull up the tax records, it shows the Montgomery County Hospital District owns two pieces of property at 200 River Point Dr. One is valued at $1,180,180 and the other at $3,892,840. If you ad these two figures together you get:

A) $5,073,020.
B) Tax appraisal figures are never exact and sometimes properties are listed below their true value.
C) If The RLC says its $2,200,000 then by God, it must be $2,200,000.

3. In a recent story in The Houston Chronicle, County Judge Alan B. Sadler claims that book banning is being portrayed as a Republican Leadership Council issue. It was started by the Republican Leadership Council, but it reflects mainstream opinion in Montgomery County. If this is true, Montgomery County would be most like:

A) Back in the 50's with McCarthyism.
B) Back in the 30's with Hitler burning books.
C) If Judge Sadler says this is the view of the community, it must be the view of the community.

4. At a recent RLC meeting, the consensus was that emails going to the press were 2 to 1 in favor of the book ban. We counted all the letters sent into various websites at the time. The total number of letters written was 135. The letters against book banning 101. The letters for book banning 21, with 13 letters to contradict a point made by another letter writer. I would call this:

A) A ratio of about 6 to 1 against book banning.
B) I would have to look it up for myself to give you an exact figure.
C) I'm too stupid to walk around the corner at the library, go online and get the figures myself, so I'll go ahead and believe Jim.

5. At the same RLC meeting, an hour was spent reading emails from people who did not agree with the RLC. At the end of every email the person's name would be read and someone would write it down. If a person gave a phone number it was repeated so that everyone could write it down. They did this to:

A) I have no idea. If they can't look up the emails for themselves, how on earth are they going to manage a hate database?
B) Call and harass the crap out of them for not meeting "Community Standards."
C) Call and re-educate these people for having the wrong opinion and bring over some cake and cookies.

6. You have had a loyal employee work for you for the past seven years. She has proved to be dependable and capable. Not once in seven years have you given her a written reprimand or a verbal warning. The RLC comes to your business and demands the head of that employee. Your action is to:

A) Tell the RLC they can go pick on someone else.
B) Politely explain that we have people in place who are competent at handling their problem and we will use the system we currently have.
C) How high should we hang 'em for you, Jim?

7. The RLC wants your ten-year-old daughter to walk a picket line outside the Courthouse with a sign that reads, "Get a New Library Director NOW". You:

A) Tell them no because your daughter's in school.
B) Decline because the message of firing a person and putting them in the unemployment line might be just a little extreme for a 10-year-old.
C) Start polishing her boots.

8. You run a company and have to make decisions. In order to make these decisions, you hire trained professionals with Masters degrees in their field. The RLC comes into your company and demands that you make other decisions. They also demand that you put other people into place to make these decisions. You:

A) Say no, the people we currently have chosen are the ones we'll stay with.
B) Ask to be excused so you can laugh in private.
C) Ask which people the RLC would like to have in that spot.

9. Someone points out in an e-mail that homosexuality is against the law in the state of Texas. They even give the name of the code it offends.You:

A) Think to yourself that if we pull every book off the shelf that may deal with an illegal activity we may not have any books left.
B) Think to yourself, "I wonder if that includes The Bible. After all, it describes almost every illegal activity known to man".
C) Start chanting, "What's the Code? What's the Code.? What's the code?"

10. On the RLC mission statement, you run across a line that reads. "Acknowledge the constitutional right of judges to speak out against homosexual conduct, pedophilia, and other illegal acts." You:

A) Think to yourself what an asinine grouping, 90% of pedophiles are heterosexual.
B) Shake your head and wonder …what other illegal acts?
C) Start humming I hate HOMOS and gather up a few of your buddies to do some gay bashing.

SCORING

Give yourself 1 Point for every A answer
Give yourself 5 points for every B answer
Give yourself 10 points for every C answer

If you scored less then 30 points you may want to move out of the county. The RLC combined with the good old boy system of one party politics may drive you completely crazy.

If you scored 30 points to 70 points you will probably be ok. You may reach high levels of stress at times. Your ability to calm yourself when dealing with the lunatic fringe will come in handy.

If you scored 70 or above you are probably already a member of the RLC and are just trying to fill your boring day with finding something to bitch about in our county libraries, artistic statues 200 feet high on commercial buildings, Southern Italian artwork displayed in restaurants or even in The Bulletin.

send your results to
publisher@thebulletin.com